Two lesbians have an encounter at a local supermarket. One is wearing "men's attire." The other is wearing lipstick, open toe pumps, and painted toenails. The two women glance over their shoulders as they walk past each other. Without benefit of a direct gaze, they are each acutely aware of the other's presence, and there is an instant magnetic attraction. The butch squats down as if to take something from the shelf, and turns her head just enough that she can watch the femme as she walks away. The femme, who is aware without actually seeing that the butch is watching her, continues down the aisle, swinging her hips in a confidently seductive manner.

This type of scene shows up more and more frequently these days. And some lesbians are asking why thirty-some odd years aftern feminism's pronouncement that butch-femme relationships are politically incorrect, and the general embracing of androgyny by the lesbian community, the butch-femme dynamic is so obvious again? The answer I believe, may have a lot to do with the underlying eroticism that has always existed in butch-femme, and a much more "sex positive" atmosphere among lesbians that began in the mid eighties.

I came out during the seventies, and promptly began masquerading as just another androgynous butch-of-center dyke. I've since come out as a proud feminist butch, and have started making a documentary film about butch-femme dynamics and how they're showing up now. I have conducted dozens of interviews, and it's been an eye-opening experience and a personally intense journey.

Many of the non-butch-femme-identified lesbians that I've talked to still hold the belief that the butch-femme dynamic is exclusively about role playing that mimic heterosexuals. They strongly resist the terms butch and femme as "labeling."

Those who are femme and butch identified, are re-defining femininity and masculinity, and are transforming the stereotypes for themselves. For them, identifying as a femme or a butch is just a jumping off point -- a way to be clearer about how it is they relate, to whom, and what it is they desire sexually. For many, it's not about roles, it's about an erotic dynamic.

"I'm more of a 'house butch,' because I like to do things like decorate and cook," says Ricky, a forty-something butch. "I know I'm butch, and believe me, my girl knows it, but you'll never find me under the hood of a car. It bothers me that people still think you can't be butch if you like to cook." Cheryl, a San Francisco femme adds, "I used to live in the mountains, and sometimes I would get a kick out of chopping firewood in my heels. Once some friends came up to visit me, and saw me doing it, and they couldn't believe it. That really cracked me up."

Other limiting stereotypes have also fallen away. It's not uncommon to find a butch bottom or a femme top. For many into the butch-femme dynamic, what's important is finding their sexual complement, not an adherence to roles or stereotypes.

These days, when lesbians present themselves in a masculine or feminine way they're doing it because it's an authentic expression of who they are, and to sexually signal each other. Nikki, a thirty-five year-old femme originally from Cleveland, Ohio said, "I've been out in lesbian social settings where I've had on a tight dress, lipstick and heels, and I've gotten bad vibed by other lesbians. For me dressing as an overt femme feels very sexy and empowering. 'Slutting it up,' as I call it, allows me to put my sexuality and my desire out there in a safe way, because the butches love it, but they don't get all crazy like a lot of men do. The butches I go out with totally get it. They get me and they love and appreciate it."

A number of the interviewees have talked about the fundamental differences in how a typical heterosexual and a butch-femme couple approach sex. In a heterosexual couple, pleasure is often more focused on the male. But in a butch-femme dynamic, the focus is more often on the femme's pleasure. Butch tops seem to live to please their femmes. Jenn, one of the older butches we talked to told us, "I consider myself a stud, in the sense that making sure my femme is totally fulfilled is a big part of what gets me off -- knowing she's getting everything she could want or need sexually."

One thing is certain, with femmes and butches, you have two women who are equally transgressing the defined boundaries of woman, in extreme, but opposite ways. Femmes by re-defining femininity, and claiming it out of choice in a way that is empowering to themselves, and butches by claiming and owning their natural masculinity and forcing a re-definition of what masculinity is without the sexism and misogyny. When they're in public, a butch-femme couple signals very loudly that there is desire and sexuality attached to their coupling -- they are visibly queer.

The butch-femme dynamic is essentially an erotic one. It's an expression of the yin/yang concept in sexuality -- a dynamic of the complementary feminine and masculine energies focused on the pleasure of those contrasts. To me, it's similar to Jung's theory of the anima and animus. I think each person has both female and male energies within them, and that for some people, regardless of their sexual orientation, they prefer to lead with one energy or the other. In my perception, butches are females who lead with their "masculine' energy" and femmes with their "feminine energy," while still being able to access the opposite energy as well. So, for some lesbians, in terms of personal expression, presentation style, and a preferred way of relating erotically, a femme or a butch identity, is how they are naturally oriented.

With very few exceptions, the femmes and butches that I've interviewed, completely light up when asked the question, "What about the butch-femme dynamic attracts you?" Their eyes start to sparkle, and they pause, and each inevitably says something like, "It's just, I don't know exactly how to explain it, but it's just so fucking hot."

But why, I hear you asking, Why is this desire so persistent? Well, to quote Mick, a forty-year old butch from Oakland, California, "It's hot, explosive chemistry. It's knowing we each have something that the other desires. It's the way that we're each erotically powerful in a different but complementary way."

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